Abp. Fulton Sheen on 'Loving and Liking'.

Excerpted from the book "The Priest is Not His Own".

"The first two times that Christ asks Peter to proclaim his love for Him, He uses the word agapao, whereas the third and final question contains the word phileo. But each time, Peter in his answer uses the same word, the word phileo. In the New Testament, it is the less frequently used word to describe love. Agapao, implying an awakened and higher sense of value, occurs about 320 times; phileo, indicating a love of friendship and mutual attraction, only about 45 times. To recreate the scene in the terms and form of a playwright might produce a result like this:

Christ: Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these others, with a divine, sacrificial, victimlike and self-surrendering love?

Peter: You know, Lord, that I love You with a deep, human, instinctive, personal affection, as my closest friend.

Christ: Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these others, with a divine, sacrificial, victimlike and self-surrendering love?

Peter: I have already told you, Master. You know that I love you with a deep, human, instinctive, personal affection, as my closest friend.

Christ: Simon, son of John, do you love Me with a human, instinctive, deep, personal affection, as a very close friend?

Peter: How often, Lord, must I repeat my answer? For the third time, I love you with the human, instinctive, deep, personal affection one has for one's closest friends.

Peter's answer shows that he hurt. He was grievously hurt. Yet the reason is not quite as simple as might appear on the surface. It was not just the thrice-repeated question that upset him. It was rather that the change from agapao to phileo indicated a scaling down of Our Lord's demands. He was no longer calling for the victim kind of love for which He had first asked... The Lord asked for a love of devotion, and all He got was a love of emotion. But even that He does not reject. It is not enough, He says, but it is enough to start."